subterraneanFIRE

11/10/2009

» Late Autumn 2000 and Early Winter 2001

“ Begin by noticing when you are triggered. This can be the biggest step. What is triggering you? What sensations are you feeling in your body? Are you breathing? Often we blame our partners for the discomfort, irritation, or dislike that emerges with a trigger. Thoroughly check out the source of your uneasiness with your partner when it comes up. Are you triggered? How can your partner be an ally to you now, instead of an enemy? As with dissociation, your partner can help you notice when you are triggered.

Stop, pause, and breathe. Assess the situation. What are you feeling? What’s going on? What do you need? It is fine to take a break in the middle of sex. Stopping and addressing the trigger will ultimately make your sexual experience more satisfying, safe, and healing. Refer to your internal sensations of safety or your emotional resources (see chapter 1). „

Staci Haines - Healing Sex: A Mind-Body Approach to Healing Sexual Trauma, 2007

[…]I think [the book’s] really stellar and I hope to learn a lot of useful information. It’s shamefully easy to forget that partners of sexual assault survivors have learning and processing and incorporating to do as well.

(via sexartandpolitics)

Quote 10:50

11/01/2009

» The Need to Express to Communicate

Link 23:28

10/28/2009

forwhenifeellikesharing:

OR:

Snow White:

Despite being rejected by her family (neglected by her father?), she strikes out on her own and makes the best of a terrible situation. She wins people over with her selflessness and charm… Which are legendary enough to attract a man to come and save her from someone who can’t get over her own insecurities.

Briar Rose:

A woman who is really a metaphor for the idea of embracing fate. She’s passive throughout and is never a protagonist, so her faults as a “weak woman” really should only be considered in the sense that they should be conquered. We should prevent the “fate” of women like Briar Rose.

Jasmine:

A woman who is not afraid to dress provactively, who has no problem turning down a man she does not find sexually attractive, who looks beyond class to find someone who is truly her soul mate, who can only be bested by supernatural intervention, and who (in the cartoon series) proves to be her mate’s intellectual equal as well as display compassion and physical prowess.

Ariel:

A woman who defies her controlling father, who persues her passions relentlessly, who will not let her physical handicaps hold her back, who is willing to sacrifice her talents for her friends, but who is still willing to GET HERS!

Cinderella:

A woman who despite YEARS of emotional abuse is still kind to the lowest of animals, dreams of a better tomorrow, and who seizes any opportunity to make a better life for herself. She flees “love at first sight” because it -at first- seems wholly impractical and she is “rescued” by her Prince in the since that she inspires him to pursue her relentlessly, loving her for who she is on the inside because, afterall, he turns down hundreds of beautiful women at his desposal.

Belle:

A woman devoted to her family, who cultivates her intellect daily within her means, who does not settle on a man, who only sacrifices herself when she knows her father will die if she doesn’t, and who is willing to look past appearances and call someone (the Beast) on their bullshit until they quit dicking around and shape up. She is rewarded for staying true to herself.

(via tumbledore)